In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
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1800 breakfasts and no BJ's...sounds like your getting married.
Are sandwiches included without mention?
So just grab 12 pics off the web, get her a dog, and 1800 cereal bars. She wasn't very specific on any of the promises, although you may have been at the time...in which case I'd say, good luck.