and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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