omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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