i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
