I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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