i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
