so explain again why im purple
no
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
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Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
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Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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