why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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