gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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