Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
