all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
