she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize