I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
