Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
