Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
