Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
