dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
