omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
