If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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