I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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