I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
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I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
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We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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