My nipple is on Facebook.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
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