its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
