I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He felt like a one man threesome
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
