Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize