Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
