So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
