The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i would one night stand the shit outta him
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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