no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
