I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
