Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She's the barista slut.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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