I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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