I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Randomize