i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
