"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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