Buhtt sex?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
