Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
