whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
