She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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