Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
My vagina is very pro this idea
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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