something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize