I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Even the bartender felt bad for me
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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