You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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