and she was petting her beer can
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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