i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
