Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
