Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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