Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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