I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
