I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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