chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
