I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Is Oprah even human
Randomize
