So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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