Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
