It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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