Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Randomize
