saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
