how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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