I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
