I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
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He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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