you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
