Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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