in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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