You smell like a Billy Joel song
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
