genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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