am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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