...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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