i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
