He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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