i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"