Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat... http://tfl.nu/oev5
  Replies (7) Good night (698) Bad night (1512)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (504): My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her http://tfl.nu/2ej3
  Replies (35) Good night (672) Bad night (3870)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Ontario

  So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying. http://tfl.nu/y4gl
  Replies (91) Good night (2082) Bad night (9837)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet. http://tfl.nu/v49x
  Replies (6) Good night (1170) Bad night (3766)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar http://tfl.nu/20ke
  Replies (6) Good night (2450) Bad night (897)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (204): We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk. http://tfl.nu/82pr
  Replies (3) Good night (1716) Bad night (886)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (778): I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina. http://tfl.nu/znuq
  Replies (18) Good night (4475) Bad night (862)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down. http://tfl.nu/yekc
  Replies (15) Good night (1587) Bad night (2344)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge? http://tfl.nu/a35e
  Replies (1) Good night (1497) Bad night (580)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets. http://tfl.nu/choe
  Replies (4) Good night (1494) Bad night (531)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating. http://tfl.nu/dthl
  Replies (5) Good night (538) Bad night (1336)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.

  (1-509): View more from Washington

  Yes talking about pockets is classic me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away. (1-509): Yes talking about pockets is classic me. http://tfl.nu/k75f
  Replies (0) Good night (1103) Bad night (411)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS. http://tfl.nu/33fz
  Replies (9) Good night (1065) Bad night (575)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight. http://tfl.nu/6ztd
  Replies (5) Good night (651) Bad night (328)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed http://tfl.nu/kh3f
  Replies (2) Good night (594) Bad night (236)

Randomize