He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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