some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
