so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
